Posts

Gifts From The Man

  I am so excited about my late Mother's Day gift from The Man. I sometimes complain that The Man never pays attention to me. Over the years this has led to some pretty unique gifts. I really did not think he could top the Mother's Day gift he gave me when the children were young, but old enough to question his idea of a gift. That was the year he gave me 50 lbs. of cow manure. I his defense, I did say that I wanted to fertilize the gardens and grass. He says I asked for it, but I just mentioned it in passing. He gave me clothespins and trash cans one year for Christmas. That was early in our marriage when we couldn't afford to pay attention, and I did ask for those particular items. You should also know that was not the only gifts I got and my gifts to him were equally useful. I have a new toilet seat! The toilet seat that was in use before was hard to clean. I could clean it and know that it was clean, but it never looked clean. I told The Man that I was going to order on...

Gas Prices, Needles, Formaldehyde and Kittens

  Gas prices keep going up. I want to take a trip; I really want to go somewhere. My biggest obstacle is not the fuel prices, but appointments for both of us. Every time I think I have carved out a two-week span with nothing to hold us here, another obstacle steps up to block the way. Yesterday I had the stitches in my hand removed. Still so swollen and ugly. The nurse and I took the tight stitches out and I had imagined I would feel instant relief. High expectations, I know. In came the needle and syringe. No numbing, but the only part that stung was the needle piercing the skin. He was as surprised as I was that no blood filled the syringe, just a tiny bit of clear fluid. He ordered a pressure bandage and another visit in 2 weeks. It didn't start to really hurt until almost bedtime. A dull ache all the way through my hand, up my arm and mainly my wrist. I am hoping the swelling will go down and my wrist will regain some range of motion that doesn't hurt.  Remember when they ...

Aging and Chilibeans

  Our old girl, Toni Louise, is aging rather rapidly. I saw her picture in an ad from the local dog shelter. She had a sweet little face and I was charmed. I showed the picture to The Man. He looked and agreed that she looked sweet. Then he made his annoying proclamation of "NO MORE DOGS!" A couple of days later the dog shelter called me (because, of course, I called them to enquire about the sweet-faced dog) to let me know that they had gotten a lot of strays in and reminded me that they were not a no-kill facility. Repeating that info to The Man, I showed him her picture again. This was back in our campground running days when I was held captive to the business, while The Man did the fun stuff, like mowing and towing and cleaning out septic lines. I am not saying that his work was glamorous, but it did provide him with the opportunity to leave the property quite often.  He called me in the office to say that he had an errand to run "in town" and would be back soon...

Inventions

  No pain pills for two whole days. Healing is taking place! My thumb healed first. I can bend it and wiggle and pull my britches up and down. That got me thinking .... When I was a lowly student nurse in the early 70's, I encountered a doctor in the ER who liked to cut toes out on his patients with ingrown toenails. Wait, I misrepresented his technique; he literally yanked them out. He loved an audience and would happily invite the student nurses to watch. He would seek out the instructors to send us there. There were two classes going on and healthy supply of students to horrify. The patient would be waiting in complete dread. I don't know if they had experience or just word of mouth from other patients having had this procedure. He would enter in a rush and grab the offending toe and wrap a rubberband as tight as possible around the base of the toe. His tray of sterile instruments would have already been set up. This is when the instruments were not disposable. They were gat...

The Thinker

  "Hey'', I said to the man in his recliner next to me "when I tell you that I had already told you something, you do believe me, don't you?" I wonder about the strangest things, I've been told. It was The Man who told me so. Can't help it, I am naturally curious. And highly intelligent .... that is what my mother said about my sister and me. I am no genius, but I read a lot and that curiosity makes me ask questions. I retain that knowledge and pull it from the depths sometimes in an effort to explain things to The Man. I also am good at paying attention to my surroundings, not a trait The Man shares with me. So, I wonder and ask absurd questions. His answer to the question, by the way, was "No, maybe sometimes." Encouraged to continue with a titillating conversation, I asked, "Can you tell when I am lying? Not that I am. I did tell you most of the things you ask me about two or more times." He thought about it, like I knew he woul...

Entertainment

  I had only one pain pill yesterday. Good thing, too because I only have 4 pills in the bottle now! It is almost like that surgeon knows his stuff. Trying to avoid that needle aspiration, I have been very inactive. But life goes on, you know, things need to get done. The kitchen remains my biggest nightmare. The Man is not detail oriented. He does the dishes but leaves the drains and sinks nasty. I am beginning to think he is wiping the counter with sugar water. They are sticky and look gross. If only I could wring out a sponge or dishcloth with my big sausage fingers .... Yesterday I decided that the sheets on my bed needed to be changed. I approached The Man as he sat in his recliner staring at his phone. "Do you think you could put sheets on our bed? Since I have pulled the dirty sheets off, it has to be done, and I am unable to manage it without two hands." He was eager to please and went into our bedroom to take charge of the situation.  He told me that he could handle ...

So Disappointed

  I presented myself at the appointed time, thinking I was about to see my new scar and get the stitches snipped out. As I waited, I fantasized about all the things I would be able to do soon. I was even looking forward to doing dishes and giving my kitchen a good cleaning. Mostly I was looking forward to a shower without having a giant glove taped to my hand. I would be able to wash my hair with two hands! Simple things make me happy. The nurse cut the bandage away and revealed the top of my hand where an ugly sideways "V" was stitched together. My hand was a weird shade of purple and blue, and it was still swollen under the stitches. It looked like the cyst was still in place! The surgeon said it looked good, making me question his ability to see. Then he proceeded to palpate the bubble of swollen tissue and opine that it was filled with my blood. I wanted to swat his hand away because he was causing the shooting pain that had plagued me for 9 months. Then he rendered his v...