The Stalker. Part Three

 How do you not have a bedtime for children? This is what I was thinking as the evening wore on. The TV was on, but it could not be heard over the noise in that house. I was trying to not interfere. My own mother was a constant thorn in my side as she would tell me what I should and shouldn't do with my own children. She would also undermine our authority as parents, telling my oldest two children that they did not have to listen to my husband, he was not their father. This made me want to NEVER be like her.

I figured that my daughter-in-law was in charge when she was there and I nearly bit my tongue off keeping quiet. Little did I know that she had given all three children permission to sleep with Gramma. I read until I was hoarse, and they finally fell asleep, then removed myself from the bed and slept on the couch until my son came home from work and removed Child One from the bed to give me a space to sleep.

Okay. I admit that if one of my children woke in the night and came into my room, I would gather them in my arms and tuck them in with us. This was just occasionally. At the end of the week, I was exhausted. I would have been more rested had I dug ditches!

At this time, you could stand on my son's deck and see the roof of Adrienne's house. There is only 6 months difference in age between her son, Gavin and Child One. He referred to her as his "best cousin" and as soon as he got home from day care he would come over to play with her.

The other Gramma came over every evening with groceries and cooked and bathed children after she worked all day. I asked my son if she was coming over because I was there, not that it was a problem, I liked her and enjoyed spending time with her. I was just curious about it. Turns out that she did. Every single night of the week and would often take the youngest home with her for the weekend.

While Child One bonded with my son, Child Two was very much her mother's child. She was and still is the one that lacks any control. When she wants something, she is relentless. She is almost 20 and will still call me to ask for money. This is the only time I hear from her. She never gets any from me, but she still tries. I tell her every time that she will appreciate eyelash extensions, headphones, and such if she earns the money and pays for it herself. If she needed a kidney, I would be first in line to make sure she got it, no matter the cost. But the things she thinks she "needs" are not necessarily needs. Child One never asks for anything, and Child Three has very little communication with us.

Child Three is the baby, and she bonded with the Other Gramma. They were very close. I recall one of the funniest stories Other Gramma ever told me about Child Three was when she was about 7. They attended mass regularly, just the two of them. On one occasion the regular priest was not there, and another priest filled in. At the end of the service, as they were leaving and everyone was stopping to greet the priest, Child Three looked up at him and asked where God was on that day. She thought the regular priest was God! Child Three was an endearing child, eyes bright and full of mischief. Child One was very shy and quiet, while Child Two was and still is always trying to be the center of attention.

After the divorce, I tried to maintain a civil relationship with ex-daughter-in-law. I would overlook her constant criticism of my son for the sake of the children. I did not like that she voiced all this in front of the girls but reminded myself that I was not the parent.

On those rare occasions when I found myself alone with her, I would remind her that she also had faults that contributed to the collapse of the marriage. My son was willing to go to counseling, and she refused. My son went along with everything she wanted in the divorce and the settlement was definitely in her favor financially. He agreed to provide child support and spousal maintenance until the youngest child was 22. 

I later learned that my son's life was filled with chore lists to be accomplished before he went to work or she would ban him from their home, and he would end up at one of his sister's houses sleeping on the couch. This did not mean he escaped from his witchy wife. My daughters told me that she would call sometimes 10 times a night to belittle him and tell him how much the girls missed him. Talk about mixed messages.

He even made her hair appointments! He did all the housecleaning chores that her mother did not take care of. The laundry was his responsibility, as well. While Barb did the cooking during the week, my son cooked breakfast daily and the weekend meals. She did not and still doesn't know how to cook anything other than pasta. She doesn't even heat up the jar of sauce, just pours some over the pasta and opens a bag of prepared salad.

 Things were okay with her until she took a fancy to another man and wanted a divorce. My son wanted to go to counseling, but she informed him that she did not need counseling, that he was the one at fault as he started drinking instead of drugs. Everything was all his fault, she accepted no culpability for anything.

He moved out and left her with the house. She would go stay with friends on the weekends and he would stay at the house with the girls. This was fine with him. He moved into an apartment with a guy he worked with and still paid the mortgage payments for her. 

One weekend she decided the girls should spend the weekend at his apartment. He slept on the floor and the girls slept in his bed. When he took them home at the appointed time, they were locked out. It took some time to get her attention, and she came to the door wearing nothing but a man's shirt! Good example to set!

Shortly after that incident she announced that she had to fly to California "for work". She works for the state of Minnesota and never said what matter would take her across the country. She was to leave on a Friday and be gone until the next Wednesday. Jeff and Other Gramma had to rearrange their work schedules to accommodate the trip. 

Jeff moved into the house with the girls and Barb used vacation days to help with the girls. On Saturday, the police notified Jeff that his car was found parked on the street in an unsavory neighborhood. Both vehicles were still in his name, as he was still paying all the auto insurance along with the $3000 he paid in child support and maintenance for her every month. The vehicle in question should have been in long term parking at the airport since she "didn't want to inconvenience" anyone for a ride to the airport. So, my son had to go pick up the car and then go to the police station to let them know he had the car. While there, the officer decided to tell Jeff about an incident in the neighborhood where the car was found.

It seems that a woman matching her description was found in the back yard of the man she was stalking!! He took out a restraining order on her. Armed with this knowledge he went to the house of her closest friend and found her there. She cowered in a corner as if she were scared of him. I found this to be hilarious. If you were to tell me that one of my children had been in a street fight, he is the last one I would suspect! His sisters, the youngest, especially would enter my mind first.

He had to be the one to tell his ex-mother-in-law about her daughter. I felt so sorry for her, having to deal with her own life, take care of the grandchildren and then have to deal with her child deceiving her. Mother and daughters are hard enough!

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