Patients Require Patience

 Have I expressed just how difficult The Patient is? He has not had a shower for 4 days. I rinsed the dirt and blood off, but there was no soap or deodorant involved.

No way to put this delicately, but he does not smell good. I have a very sensitive odor detector. I smell everything and can usually pinpoint the source. When you have an adrenaline rush, your body emits an odor unlike any other. Very pungent and unpleasant. So, when I awoke this morning, I determined that a shower was going to happen.

Besides, lying in bed non-stop for two days is long enough. I know that getting up and on your feet is painful but will make you feel better in the long run. A shower is the best therapy when you are miserable as far as I am concerned. The Patient disagrees. I left him grumbling in the recliner while I stripped the bed and remade it while the sheets were in the washer.

He had it in his head that he would immediately occupy that fresh sheeted bed. I told him he was not allowed in the bed until he met up with some soap and water. When he decided he was ready for a shower, I reminded him that his recliner would set him on his feet and still had to help him up. When I followed him down the hall, he announced that he would be accomplishing the shower all on his own.

I knew this was not possible. You might recall that I recently was in a position that gave me the use of only one hand. I asked him to stay in the bathroom and help me in and out of the shower while I was indisposed. I stood back and waited for him to discover his limitations. Having to admit that he needed help seemed to make him mad and he took it out on me, telling me I had no idea how much pain he was in. I did not offer a response, but I have a good idea of the pain level.

He complained about everything. The temperature of the water was either too hot or too cold, so I let him try to adjust it on his own. Bending down caused him dizziness (as I knew it would) and that made him mad. Then I touched his injured side when he asked me to dry it (I was dabbing it very gently), then the air conditioner came on, and he was too cold and madder.

I got him into bed and gave him his Percocet early, along with his usual regimen of drugs and I covered his feet to his liking, made sure he had ice water near enough to reach and left the room. If only I had enough power running to the RV to run the AC, the dogs and I would be out there right now. I almost wish they had kept him in the hospital.

The poor dogs are confused. He wants them to get in bed, like they beg to do when I am in bed. But he seems to think they should know where he hurts and avoid his injured side when he calls them to him. I told Bo to bite him if he gave him any more trouble!

I am now going to turn on Netflix and watch TV with Kevin, the cat and my canines. I am going to prepare my food and eat in peace, not jumping up and down to fulfill his wants! I vented to my son, and I swear I thought I had it all out of my system. I must have underestimated how annoyed I am with The Patient right now. My parting comment to him was STOP moving his stupid arm and that I did know what pain was. I suggested he might try squeezing out a 9 lb baby and get back to me.